WillosAdopt

It Takes a Village

2008-10-10T20:01:00.000-05:00

I am incredibly touched by the outpouring of support that we’ve received in this daunting journey to bring May home. My classmates have arranged a fundraiser to help us with the unanticipated expenses in this 4-year process.

Bring May Home!
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=29714179670
October 26, 2008 1-4 pm
at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine (3646 N. Broadway, Chicago, IL)
http://www.pacificcollege.edu/campuses/chicago/map_directions.html

Enjoy chair massages, silent auction items and baked goods all for a good cause.
This little girl has so much love surrounding her. I am grateful. I am humbled. I am in awe of the beautiful, powerful women (and men) gracing us with their presence.

Pretty in Pink

2008-09-16T22:12:00.017-05:00

It kills me to see her reaching out to the other families. She's in her party dress in the background, seeming to say, "Hey, what about me? Where's my family?"

I find it ironic how much she looks like my grandmother who passed away in January. I've never known anyone else with dimples on their forehead (or who liked pink and lace so much.) And there stands May dimpled and ruffled in pink. Hmm....And, mirroring some unfortunate fashion years for me, I am diggin' the sweat pants underneath! That's my girl!

Sleeping Beauty

2008-09-08T11:58:00.014-05:00

I kid you not, it is sunny and raining here.

And...there in my inbox, were more photos of May taken today by a group of families traveling to bring their children home. I am so grateful to have another glimpse into her life.

Photos Galore!

2008-08-26T21:33:00.013-05:00

"Excuse me...I don't think this kid is a real doctor. Look at my leg!"

So much has happened in the last week. We're on quite a roller coaster ride. I'll post more later about that. For now, I am content to enjoy looking at an abundance of photos of this little beauty. She looks to be standing quite comfortably. Several families are traveling now and have their children in arms. Wonderful to see. One was kind enough to deliver a toy with our photos in it to May. (Thank you, Shula!) If you look closely, in some of the photos, you can see my image looking up at May from the toy! In the midst of their own joy and celebration (and probably a little controlled chaos), these families took the time to take photos for all of us still waiting. (Thank you, Shula and Cara!)

RFE

2008-08-20T19:17:00.002-05:00

RFE
Really Fantastic Effort. Rather Flat Egg. Rough Feather Easter. Really Fun Experience. Reason For Enthusiasm.

My wishful musings...

Any of these phrases would be preferable to the email we received this morning from USCIS (Immigration). Request for Further Evidence (RFE). The good news is that US Immigration reviewed our case to classify May as an immediate relative in roughly 37 business days. The bad news is that they had a choice to approve our petition, to deny our petition, or to investigate it further. They are further investigating it. We should receive the packet via Fed Ex by Friday to know more of the details. I am holding out hope that it is something simple. The vast majority of these cases are eventually favorably resolved, but often after months of waiting for review. Some cases have languished for the better part of a year without resolution. The burden is on us, as the petitioners, to provide evidence that this little girl fits the US definition of an "orphan". It's a daunting prospect, but our agency says it will assist us. And we have the support of a great group of people. We're crestfallen to think that the email could just as easily have read "approved".

With the looming closure of the Vietnam program on Sept 1, there seems to be pressure on USCIS to clear cases. (It's so frightening that the future of our family is just another case report to clear off of a desk.)

SO, our dear family, friends, and fellow travelers...if you can, please send some positive energy, prayers, incantations (?!), our way.

Look at the size of those pins!

2008-08-11T20:06:00.008-05:00

Thankfully, Luc is recovering very well at home after having two pins removed from his arm today. Surgery #3 was a breeze compared to the 2 prior ones. Would you look at the size of those things?!? Yikes! Luc has a new brace which he can take off for PT and to shower, but Luc is just ecstatic to be able to scratch his arm at last. He'll have the plate removed in about 5 months. Now, let the healing begin!

More PHOTOS!

2008-07-31T17:32:00.007-05:00

Hooray! Thanks to a couple of families from our agency, we have some more glimpses of May Sen Thi! AND, Seven families from our agency received immigration approval last night (I-600 approval). I am thrilled that they will be traveling soon. And MAYBE...MAYBE, there will be more good news for the rest of us waiting! Keep those good thoughts coming!

Parenting by stolen glances is torture!

Luc and Lucky Lotus Girl

2008-07-11T19:03:00.006-05:00

So far, so good! Luc's second surgery was a success! They used part of his triceps tendon to refashion a new annular ligament to hold the radius in place. Just to be sure that it stays there until it heals, the surgeon put in a BIG 'ole pin--which will be removed in the OR in a couple of weeks. The surgeon did let us know that she thought that he should get MOST of his range of motion back. This is not a prognosis that we're willing to accept, so we've started ancillary healing modalities--acupuncture, Reiki, supplements. As soon as he's able, we'll start PT and OT. So far, he's healing well this time. And he's getting his energy back. It's nerve-wracking for us to watch him TRY to walk. There is no slow motion for this child! We held our collective breath and let him go to camp this week. So far, so good.

Luc is still sleeping in his little sister's room and he has a new invention. The kiss launcher! Each night before he goes to sleep, he blows kisses for May into the ceiling fan which he calls the Express Train to Vietnam. (I'm sure he'd be a little embarrassed if his best buddies knew, but I think it's beautifully sweet.) He will be a GREAT big brother.

And as for our progress toward little May, I promised myself that I wouldn't count, but...well...I couldn't help it. I was SURE that we were close to the halfway mark in the 60 days (not that 60 days means much these days anyway). OK, so...we are only Business DAY 15 since receiving our I-600 receipt. AH! It's an agonizing wait. Especially, with all of the uncertainty in the process.

Our fellow travelers on this roller coaster journey have been bouncing along in so many different directions. The State Department issued a statement yesterday estimating that of the 1,700 families with dossiers in country by the July 1 deadline, only about half will receive referrals by the September 1st closing date (and, therefore, be able to finish the process). Our hearts break for the families who will not know the beauty of Vietnam, whose hopes for parenthood are dimmed, and for the children who may never know forever families. Our hearts break also for the families caught in legal limbo waiting month after month to hear if their referred child--the child of their hearts--will be issued a US Visa. It strikes fear in our own hearts to think that May could be similarly stuck--her fate linked to ours and yet with us unable to bring her home.

And, then, we are buoyed by the news that a few more families have been issued travel approval--including a family that I have never met, yet with whom I have shared emails and late night worried, hopeful conversations. They reached out to me when I was losing faith and tomorrow they will hold their daughter for the first time! How wonderful!

As I write this, the sun has just come out in the middle of a pouring rain. Again. How amazing!

May hope and magic reign.

Sunshine in the Rain

2008-06-27T18:49:00.002-05:00

Well, as things go with us these days, we have a little sunshine with our rain.

First the sunshine: Today, we received official notice from Immigration Services that they have received our "petition to classify Thuong Thi as an immediate relative" (I-600)! As they state, MOST of these cases are processed within 60 (business) days and when they give approval, we can travel shortly thereafter! Most families lately seem to be waiting about 40 working days for approval. This is a hard wait, but we're one GIANT step closer to our little girl! ----Whose name we've decided will be May Sen Thi ("Lucky Lotus Girl", if we've translated correctly!).

Now the rain: We found out from the Ortho Wednesday, that Luc will require another surgery on his arm. Somehow, the radius is dislocated again and they will go in on Monday to see what's going on. It's disconcerting, to say the least, that it popped out only one week after the first surgery. The surgeon is baffled and we are sick thinking about him going through it again.

If you're so inclined, please send Luc some healing thoughts and prayers. (And if you have a few left over, send some the way of US Immigration on behalf of his little sister!)

Surgery and I-600

2008-06-21T10:57:00.003-05:00

Luc had surgery on his arm on Tuesday. The surgeon cut the ulna, inserted pins and a plate to hold it in place and popped the radius back into position. Eek! Luc did well, but it was an eventful week. We're all recovering from the lack of sleep! Mom Mom (Grandma) came for the end of the week while Steve had to leave for business (Thanks, Mom Mom!). (It was quite a relief to have her help--especially for the middle-of-the-night ER visit to split his cast when it was getting too tight.) Luc's arm will be in a cast for at least 4 weeks and then we'll see how he does from there. The plate will have to be surgically removed in about 6 months. Puts a little wrinkle in his summer plans!

Puppy, Saphira, and cat, Diablo, have been keeping him company on the couch! As Luc says, he's "just hangin' with the 'mals--That's animals to you, Mom". In spite of letting me know that I'm no longer hip(?!), Luc was a champ through the whole process. He lived up to his name and was incredibly brave and strong. Keeping him quiet and still, has, amazingly, not been as difficult as we thought it would. And his buddies, both human and animal, have come and quietly kept him company.

And as for Luc's little sister...
Yesterday, our agency let us know that they filed our I-600. Hooray! This is the immigration request for little Thuong Thi. We have NOT yet gotten word from USCIS (Immigration) that they received the file. Once we get acknowledgement of receipt, we wait for their approval. There are no guarantees for time frame, but, for many families, it's taking about 40-60 torturous business days.

As I write this, once again, the sun is shining through a pouring rain. This, we've decided, is the sign of her presence in our lives. We can't touch her or hear her laugh, but whenever we have word of her, the sun glints off of raindrops. Absolutely beautiful and gentle and peaceful. And in these beautifully quiet moments, I breathe deeply and I believe that she is coming home. I imagine that the rainbow we keep searching for is too large for us to see. That it is connecting us to her and that somehow she knows we are here and we love her.

If only the paperwork could keep pace...

Luc's Arm

2008-06-14T14:16:00.004-05:00

Last week, we found out that Luc's radius is definitely dislocated at the elbow. When they took off his cast on the last day of school, the arm just didn't look right. He didn't have full range of motion and he was in a lot of pain trying to move the forearm. Looking back at the original films, it was apparently NOT dislocated originally. According to the surgeon, there have been a few unexplained cases of kids dislocating their arms while casted. (Hmmm....Were they all Wiggle Worm 8-year-old boys?) Luc is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. This will require general anesthesia (a sedative for MOM) and at least one night in the hospital. They'll try to manually put the radius back in place first, but if that doesn't work, they'll surgically cut the ulna in order to reshape it (make it less bowed) so that the radius can fit back in place. (I may pass out just thinking about it!) His recovery time will depend upon which option they end up having to do. Kids recover quickly, so, hopefully, he'll be back to normal summertime pursuits in no time. Please send him some healing thoughts and prayers!

On a very sweet note, Luc has been gathering toys and books for his little sister and has decided that he wants to sleep in his little sister's room until she comes home. We think we have a name for his little sister...we want to make sure that we have the translation correct before unveiling!

New Photos

2008-06-09T11:23:00.008-05:00

Hooray! It's amazing to get to see our little girl again this morning! We are so grateful to those kind people gifting us with these precious glimpses into our daughter's life. It looks like she's "scootching" or at least doing an impressive push up! She might be ready for martial arts training already!

Conjunctivitis is going around the orphanage. Her eyes look a little puffy today, so I think that she might have a case. It sure is hard to not be able to hold her, but I am grateful to those who take such loving care of her.

On our side of the world, we updated our home study again. (I've lost track of how many updates we've done!) It is likely that it and our fingerprints will expire before we will travel, so we're making sure that everything is ready.

Luc's last day of School

2008-06-05T13:15:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe that our little boy just finished Second Grade! It seems only yesterday that Ba Ba (Grandpa) and I were meeting him for the first time amid the smells of orchids and the sounds of blaring horns. Nostalgia has, unexpectedly, overtaken me!

Luc is excited, of course, for summer vacation. Unfortunately, when his cast was removed, the arm did not appear to have healed properly, so we're awaiting the results of his CT scans and X-rays. In the meantime, he is back in a splint. He just can't wait until he can jump in the pool again!

A photo we hadn't noticed before!

2008-06-05T10:24:00.003-05:00

A Child's Right Campaign for Vietnam

2008-05-24T11:25:00.004-05:00

As many of you are aware, the agreement which allows US citizens to adopt from Vietnam expires on September 1st. After that date, no further adoptions will occur between the US and VN unless and until a new agreement can be reached. Both governments have given assurances that families already in the process (like us) WILL be able to continue even if the adoption is not completed before September 1st.

While we are cautiously optimistic that the shut down of this program will not affect our adoption of Thuong Thi, thousands of other children will not find the loving families that eagerly await them. Many of you have asked what you can do to help and I finally have an answer.

The Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) has launched its Child's Right Campaign for Vietnam.

http://www.jcics.org/Vietnam.htm

The full details are at the above link, but they are asking for 2 things from supporters:
1. Email JCICS your support of the campaign BY MAY 30th
(your email will be added to a petition to Congress)
2. Contact your Senators and Congressperson on June 2nd, 3rd or 4th urging them to support this Campaign.

If you are so inclined, please consider sending a couple of emails in support of open adoptions in Vietnam. And keep the prayers and good thoughts coming that our daughter (!) will be safely and swiftly home.

Next Steps

2008-05-20T18:01:00.004-05:00

Here's my best understanding of our remaining process.
1. Referral: Currently, we have accepted the "Referral" for Thuong Thi Nguyen meaning that we have committed to taking her into our family.
2. File I-600: The next step is to file the US Immigration document called an I600. The remaining documents on Thuong Thi have to be compiled and translated. They are then submitted to the US Consulate in Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC). Then we wait for approval to come from HCMC. There is no way of knowing how long this will take (6 + weeks at minimum?).
3. Vietnamese government approval: Meanwhile, on the Vietnam side, the rest of the approval process moves along.
4. Travel: When we have I-600 approval and the Vietnam side is finished, we can travel! YEA! The trip is estimated to be 2-3 weeks. (We're planning on 3 weeks for us, Luc and maybe both Grandma's!)

Showing off Lego-Man Cast

2008-05-16T22:05:00.005-05:00

Summer Athletic Season Saved!

2008-05-16T17:22:00.004-05:00

Good news about Luc's arm. We saw the pediatric ortho today and it turns out to be a simple fracture of the humerus. Fortunately, it just missed the growth plate. Whew! The ER doc thought that it was much more severe, so we're relieved to hear that a speedy and full recovery is expected. He'll get his snazzy new cast off just in time for summer vacation! Hooray!

Big Brother Broken Arm

2008-05-13T08:58:00.001-05:00

Luc Surwillo (sometimes pitcher, sometimes second baseman, sometimes left-fielder) is sad to announce that his T-ball career is over for the season. I'm not sure what the Fox Park Sox will do without their fearless base-stealer! (Some kids just gotta keep running!) He's also not sure that he'll be able to help change diapers for little sister either! (He's pretty sure the latter is a permanent impairment!)

Yesterday, we got a phone call from the school letting us know that Luc had fallen on the playground and was injured. (Those of you who know my background can appreciate how fortunate it was that Steve answered the phone!) He has a fracture of his right arm (probably the radius AND ulna near the elbow). It was very difficult to image well because he was in so much pain yesterday. (I must confess that I almost passed out watching him. Apparently, it's impossible to be an objective medical-type when it's your child!) We're waiting to get into the ortho today to find out the extent of the injury. The location is troublesome, but kids are so resilient that I'm hopeful it will be a speedy recovery.

Meanwhile, puppy, Saphira, is pretty sure that the solution is to lick the arm into health. Her concern for Luc is quite endearing, but it's an added challenge to keep her at arm's length!

More Pictures

2008-05-12T13:25:00.000-05:00

We received our referral last Thursday, May 8th. Today, more photos were posted from Ba Vi Orphanange in Ha Noi. Little Thuong Thi was caught napping!

Pictures!

2008-05-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

A Referral At Last!

2008-05-12T10:17:00.002-05:00

After 4 years of being "in process", we received notice today that we have been matched with a little girl in Vietnam. Her picture is attached - she was born on January 2nd of this year - she's healthy and she's "up north" in Ha Noi. Her birth name is Thuong Thi Nguyen, but we're not sure what name we'll give her (other than Surwillo) when we bring her home. We still have work ahead of us - there is much more paperwork to be processed by the VN and US governments, but we hope to travel to VN in 3 to 4 months and, this time, we will need to make only one trip. So, God willing, we'll begin the Fairy Princess-"Hannah Montana" stage of our lives around September-ish. Oh, and on that vein, per our Eng-VN dictionary, we think her name translates as "Eternally/Consistently A Girl".

We're also appreciative of the irony (or destiny) of her birthdate - we're reminded of my (Steve's) Dad's angelic visit from which he believed his date of spiritual transition would be January 2nd. I'm sad he'll not meet her but I do think he sent us a message (and perhaps pulled some strings) in getting us a Jan-2 baby!

Break out the Eggs Benedict!
(And keep those prayers and good thoughts coming. We'll need them to bring her home safely.)